Add a little black to all your colors

I am having a little bit of a meltdown. Some combination of the seasonal changes, impending holiday stress, and the huge acres of canvas I have committed to paint for upcoming shows has given me pretty awful anxiety attacks. I am working right through them but it feels pretty grim here in my studio. I don't understand why they happen or how to get over this, but I am still working and that is enough for now.

 I had an amazing photo shoot a month or so ago and am starting to use the photos in this painting.

 

 I then make a black and white scale mock-up to see how it will look full-size, and to use for tracing the image onto canvas.

Then I transfer the drawing.
 

I am adding a little black to all my colors, to grey them a bit, to unify them, and because I am so fucking depressed these days.

Lots of looseness at this stage, just sploshing paint and blocking in shapes.

 

Now I am starting to paint the figures and its really fucking hard as always. It gets better when the figures have more going on in them, but for now I get pretty frustrated easily. I guess a lot of that is my current 

state of enervation. It will pass soon. I just want to be quiet and peaceful and not bother anyone and paint. Is that too much to fucking ask for?